Finding Myself

Now that I’m at the lake and have some time to myself, I’m sitting around thinking about what to write on my blog.  It’s kinda nice.

I’m sitting next to the open lake in the pitch black staring at the stars.  The only complaint is the brightness of my screen.  I’m kinda sunburned, but there’s always a price to pay when you are at the lake.

The whole idea of finding yourself is kinda oxymoronish.  Who tries to find what you already have?  Yet, in the world, we spend so much time finding out who we are.  We read book after book, take online “personality tests,” read magazines with endless advice, etc.  We are caught in the endless cycle of looking to everyone else to find out who we are.

I’ve been finding out some surprising things about myself recently.  As I said in my last post, change seems to be on the horizon for me, which makes me analyze my life and situations in a different light.  I’ve come to conclude that we can never really find out who we are unless we take the time to find out who others are.  Only when we invest in the life of someone else, seek to live a life that is in community with them, and share our very self do we reach into our identity. This type of close relationship almost never happens for most people because it takes change, personal risk, and time.

I’m amazed that so many pastors describe salvation as a “free gift.”  It totally is.  Salvation from sin cannot be earned, thus in grace it is given. But after initial salvation, the depth of one’s spiritual life and walk require hard work.  This free gift does take a lot to keep growing in. I’ve found that in order to walk with God, I have to invest my life in him.  I must live a life in community with Christ sharing my very heart and soul with him.  Only when I seek to find out my relationship with Christ do I find out about myself.  Leave it up to the Creator of the universe to finally give me identity and purpose.

A favorite saying of mine is that God never said life would be easy, but he did say we wouldn’t have to do it alone.  God has always been present with his people.  First in the garden with Adam and Eve, then in the burning bush, the Tabernacle, the Ark and Holy of Holies, and then the Temple.  With that curtain ripped, we now have the presence of God with the people in direct access.

I know that I will never know who I am unless I know who Christ is.  Only by struggling, with sweat, blood, and tears, that I am able to learn the hope of the world does not rest on my own actions, but in the actions of one man who lived 2000 year ago, and still lives today.

So I live in community with others.  I share my life, my heart, my purpose.  I really hope to share Christ.

1 Corinthians 1:18-31

Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.”

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written:
“I will destroy the wisdom of the wise;
the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.”

Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.


Published by: Brad Kirk

I'm an ordained Elder in the Great Plains Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church and serve as pastor of Leoti UMC in western Kansas. I am a graduate of Asbury Theological Seminary. I love being a husband to Diana and a father to Tobin. Most of all I am a child of God!

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